Standard Speech

If thou art unaware of what this blog post's title is referring to, therefore refer to the previous two posts and allow yourselves to be enlightened, for I would just like to say that, in all respect to those who prefer to use it instead of the glorious Enligh Language with which I use to communicate with thou, I absolutely and entierly loathe the hopelessly limeted set of vocabulary (also known as Standard Speech) that the majority of the population sees it fit to use.

(Standard Speech Translation: I Hate Standard Speech.)

Procopious - The BEST Medieval Name EVER and the best Word (I Think, Anyway)

Hey Caitlin, why the long title?

I'm not even going to answer that... you know why... I LOOOOOOVE long things: long paragraphs (my standard paragraph has about 148 words... and it's only one sentence), long sentences, long books, long posts, long poems, etc. You should see (if you haven't already) my "Who is This Isaac Wright Guy?" post... it's proof that I like long things...

Anyway... unlike my previous post, I won't stall for so long before I reveal the nature of this new "corruption" that I have made in the integrity of the English language. (Translation from Standard English to Standard Speech: Instead of annoying you like I did last time with a nefariously long computer break, I will show you the total contamination I have done to the kickawesome language of English {which most of you refuse to use/understand} right now.)

Procopious is a BEAST Latin Medieval name (look it up if you don't believe it). I don't think I'd be able to name any of my kids that... I mean, what would you nickname a kid with a name like Procopious? Pro? Copious? Proco? But it IS a chill name.

I (because that's just one of my dimensioned hobbies, destroying the ever-neglected English Language) have redefined the word "Procopious" to mean "Preposterously Precarious" (Or in Standard Speech: Unreasonably Dangerous).

I used it a lot while I was hiking in Idaho 'cause the rocks were slippery and the whole thing was absolutely absurd at times... saying things like "this is just procopious," and "this rock is procopious." as well as saying that it took "Procopious Skill" to climb over those rocks. (Standard Speech Translation: it took kick'mazing navigation-of-insanely-trippy-stuff skills to climb over those rocks)

But that's basically it.

Summary: Procopious is a Medieval Latin name as well as a word that (in Caitlin's Dictionary of Strange but True words) means "Preposterously Precarious". Got it?

Good. Now I need a Slurpee.

Filarious

A one word title? What abomination is this? I mean seriously? WHO DOES THAT AFTER NOT BLOGGING FOR SO LONG?

I do. So deal.

Now of course (I know what you're thinking, it's not really all that creepy so get used to it) you're wondering what this one word means. If I told you that I wouldn't tell you what Filarious meant, then you'd kill me before tomorrow, and that'd be bad (frankly, I don't want to die, some people do, but not me) so I'll tell you... just not right now.

I have to stall for about.... three hours first.

Seriously... I'm not joking... No one takes me seriously these days. They did... back in, like, the 1700s but that's a different story.

Go do something interesting now while I stall, lay around next to my computer and torture you by making you wait for three hours to finish this post.

Three hours later:

Okay. Now I'll tell you what Filarious means.

As soon as you give me a cookie.

Nah, just kidding... I know it's killing you, so I'll tell you.

Filarious is a combination of the words "Nefarious" and "Hilarious" and means "nefariously hilarious". So if you say that something is "Filarious" that means that the object/person/place you're describing is either:

1. SO nefarious (which basically means devious) that it's funny.
2. SO hilarious (you know what that means... and if you don't well, you need to go back to kindergarten/hang out with me {I will be happy to show you what hilarious means... I mean what else are you supposed to do with a pile of matches, your neighbor's backyard, some gasoline and a batch of smelly laundry?}) that it's nefarious.

Do you understand? 'Cause if you don't you can always call me... but I will warn you beforehand... I will laugh at you.

So that's it. Finish your popcorn and get outta here.

Oh and be sure to come back next time... I've got something Filarious planned... :)

Randomness at its Greatest

Alright, prepared to be TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY WEIRDED-OUT 'cause this post is gonna blow your mind. There is no real purpose to it... other than to induce a hilarious reaction out of you, my readers... but I'm sure you'll enjoy it anyway 'cause, according to some recent studies... I Am Hilarious.

Anyway... here I go... filling your head with randomness and all that good stuff, so, hang on tight. This is going to be a bumpy ride.

This is a picture of some of the characters in one of my recent story ideas called "Metallaphor". They come from another planet called Metallaphor (which, in their language means God of Fire) in a distant galaxy. This planet is a little closer to their sun than ours is, and thus its very hot, volcanoey and on the edge of being uninhabitable like Venus, but it's still full of life, (intelligent life too) color, and culture, much like our own world.

However, the people of the neighboring planet, which is a little farther out than earth and just barely out of the reach of Metallaphor's gravitational field, but still habitable and is called Istaicara (pronounced Iss- [like hiss] TYE-car-uh) [which means Crystal Land in Metallaphoric] think they are better than the Metallaphorics and therefore they have created a law that governs them very strictly and often unfairly. As part of that law, interbreeding of Metallaphorics and Istaicarans is strictly forbidden and doing so can result in death. Many other crimes that in our world would only result in imprisonment result in death as well... but only for Metallaphorics. Often Isaticarans escape from similar crimes with no sentence at all. It is an unjust galaxy. The Metallaphorics pictured below are on the death row. They have their sentence around their neck to identify them (that's what the sashes are) and (of course) the sentence is written in Metallaphoric.

From left to right they are: Luki (which means "Blue" in Metallaphoric, and who is on the death row for biting the hand off of an Istaicaran man), Lonna-Magi (Lonna means "gone/no loner present/absent" and Magi means "Lava" so the best translation of her name is Absent Lava... but to us that doesn't make any sense. To Metallaphorics, who are always afraid of erruptions, living on a highly-volcanic planet, the phrase Lonna-Magi (Absent Lava) means that there is nothing to fear and that there is peace.) [Lonna is on this death row because she questioned the authenticity of some Istaicaran Crystals she purchased] (Istaicaran Crystals are the strongest substance in their galaxy, much like our diamonds, and therefore should not shatter when they come in contact with hardwood floors. Some of Lonna's "Crystals" shattered which lead her to believe they were glass instead of crystals and that the store she had purchased those crystals from was selling glass as "prized Crystals" and therefore ripping her off a ton.), Caileb (Which means Sunlight in Metallaphoric and who is on this death row because he disguised himself as a Istaircaran and lived on Isaticara for two years, he married the only daughter of the Kohl Pacair [Master Father, which is basically the Istaicaran version of the president of the world] and the Kohl Junair [Master mother], and she became the carrier of a half-Istaicaran, half-Metallaphoric child.) [He is also the main character of this story:)], Ero Colia (Ero is just a title like Mister and Colia means "Bringer of Ice". This guy is on death row because an Istaicaran man accidentally stabbed himself while trying to pick up a Metallaphoric knife out of a box that Ero Colia was holding) and Chaida (which means child-like and who is on this death row for murdering thirteen Istaicarans as well as thirty-two Metallaphorics in cold blood).

This is a picture of a random book cover I decided to make. I didn't really have an idea to go with it, so you will probably never see this one on the shelves, but it turned out really cool looking.

Where Purpleonia is... I'm not exactly sure... but the lady on the front is obviously from there (hence the purple skin) and is obviously scared of it.

This is Lucy. Isn't she just lovely?

Yeah... I know. She freaks me out too.

This is a chart that shows Uranium Distribution on it. It's pretty chill.

Green means there ain't a lot of Uranium there, Yellow means there's a moderate amount and Brown means there's a ton... basically.

This is my favorite symbol. (Don't tell the government that!) It's not 'cause I like Nuclear Bombs or anything (even though they are pretty chill), but because it's got visual appeal (to me at least) and it's a symbol of power.

Whenever I see this thing, I want to sing Plankton's version of the FUN song. If you know it... you're chill. I'm not so sure about all the words... but here's how I remember it goes:

F is for fire that burns the whole city down
U is for Uranium... (lengthy pause) BOMBS!
N is for No Survivors...

And then they cut plankton off... but I still like to sing it. It's a mega-chill song.

This is my favorite number.

It's my favorite number because it's 3 cubed, or in other words it's 3 X 3 X 3, which is 3 times itself three times! And three... is just a BEAST NUMBER! (Don't ask me why... it just is, okay?)

This is a picture I drew a while ago called "Moonrise". It's chill.

(Some people think this guy looks like a Jedi. I dunno... I was kinda thinkin' werewolf... or vampire... but Jedi could work. They're chill too.)

This is a neat anime picture I found on the Internet. I want to share it with you.

There. I shared. Kindergarten taught me something I guess.

Some people (Like me little brother Jacob) who are obsessed with ipods might want to know that there are ipod-playing toilet dispensers...

...and golden iPods.

Freakish, eh?

This is how the world will end.

Or at least that's what you'd say if you were a STAR WARS NERD! He, he, he, he, he....

(I'm kind of a STAR WARS nerd... but I don't quite believe that) :)

This is a kickawesome skateboard. If I could board, I'd SO get this one... but unfortunately I can't board so, I don't have this one. It'd make a nice wall decoration though (hint, hint).

This lady's dress is awesome. I'm not the HUGEST fan of her music (although it is preatty chill) but I LOVE her dress!

So that's basically it... I can't wait to here your reactions.... or something like that. :)

Stuff that's Chill

Chill is my new word. It is basically a substitute for the way-over-used and ancient word "cool" and I plan to use it a lot from here on out. For a while I thought of coming up with a word to use instead of cool that was actually another word for "warm", just to be funny, but recent experiences (aka sunburns and bug bites, which someone at Girls Camp refereed to as sun bites and bug burns) have convinced me that warm things are lame. So I use the word chill instead.

What kind of stuff is chill? Um... I guess I'll just give you a list. (I LOVE Lists!) :)

• Isaac Wright (he's MEGA CHILL... at least in my opinion. I even made a shirt for Cosette that claimed he was better than Edward Cullen... whether that is true or not is entirely up to you... I'm hopelessly biased... being Isaac's creator).
• Blogging
• Chocolate
• Anime
• Overcast Days
• Vampires
• Moonlight (the Tv series as well as the stuff)
• The moon (Also MEGA CHILL... 'cause it's WAY better than the sun)
• Sunglasses
• Harry Potter (the dude AND the series)
• The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (also known as the LDS Church or, more commonly, the Mormon Church) See this link to learn more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Church_of_Jesus_Christ_of_Latter-day_Saints
• Wikipedia (Even though the teachers hate it... it is just... well, chill.)
• Google
• Skateboards
• The Itunes store
• Ipods
• Solar Eclipses
• Blood Banks
• Hospitals
• Mortuaries
• Graveyards
• Scraggly old trees
• Evanescence (it's a band)
• Creepy old buildings
• Werewolves
• Ghosts
• Zombies
• Mermaids
• Jedi
• STAR WARS
• Storms (Tornadoes, Tsunamis, etc. They're all chill.)
• Freezers (Both the kind that we generally think of and use and the ones in Moonlight that the vampires sleep in, 'cause they're both Very Chill.)
• Refrigerators (they're chill, literally.)
• Laptops and computers
• The Sno Isle Library System
• The Twilight Series (My books are way more chill... but whatever. These are still chill).
• Jasper Cullen (I think he's kinda hot... at least more so than Rob Pattinson... Ugh!)
• Carlise Cullen (Now HE'S like an oxymoron. He's BEASTEDLY HOT and yet, MEGA CHILL).
• Ice
• Roses
• Nuclear Weapons
• Aloe Vera
• Anolog Clocks (They look chill... but I can't read them) :)
• And lots of other stuff.

Do you get the picture now? Do you know how to use the word "chill" properly?

Good.

Now it's time for you to practice, 'cause I don't want to hear the word "cool" ever again. Nothing is "cool" anymore. It's all chill. :)

The Pros and Cons of EFY and Girls Camp

I haven't been able to post for a while... but it's not because I'm lazy, or undeckish or anything like that... it's 'cause I've been off at EFY (Especially For Youth, which is a REALLY BEAST LDS {Latter Day Saint, also known as Mormon} Church Program for those who don't know) and my Ward's Young Woman's Girls Camp. I only got two days in between and I didn't get to type or do anything on the computer really... and I'm feeling so technologically deprived I feel like I"m about to post, like, twenty posts.... so bear with me here.

There are some good things about EFY and camp... and some bad... but first I wish to focus on the good... 'cause my kickawesome friend Cosette (who is THE MOST OPTIMISTIC PERSON IN THE WORLD!) has inspired me to try taking a slightly different outlook on life. :)

Pros about EFY

• It was THE MOST SPIRITUAL ENVIRONMENT {besides the temple} I HAVE EVER VISTED IN MY LIFE
• Marshall McDonald, the MOST DECKISH HYMN PLAYER IN THE WORLD was there to enlighten our souls with his KICKMAZING music (it's so kickawesome that there are no words to describe it) and to play my favorite hymn (If You Could Hie to Kolob, which is usually played really dully and without a lot of inflection because lots of people don't like it for some odd reason) so well that I will never hear it the same again.
• The classes were really, REALLY good. they were informative, insightful, inspiring, spiritual (to the point where tears were running down your cheeks and soaking up your notes...) and life-changing. I will never be the same again!
• I bore my testimony about God's love for me (which I had acquired throughout the week) at the testimony meeting on Thursday. (Don't wear any makeup on any day at EFY, but if you feel like you can only afford to miss one day of makeup... don't put any on on Thursday. You will cry it all off. Trust me. I didn't wear any makeup... but I saw some other people who did and they didn't look so good after testimony meeting.)
• The Food was AWESOME! I ate SOOOOOOO MUCH! They had chicken and fries (REAL chicken and fries... not the cheap plastic stuff they sell to you at Elementary school and the Prison Camp/School some refer to as Totem Middle School) Italian noodles, really good muffins in, like, every flavor, and delicious pancakes.
• Our counselors were beast. I don't know what else to say about Bruce and Lauren... but they were beast.
• We played fun games... Anthill and Ninja Destruction. (I'll definitely post about these later... they're SOOOOO beast!)
• We had TWO MEGA CHILL dances ("chill" is my new word for "cool", 'cause cool is just so last year) where they played music that was beast and appropriate, and where I met some REALLY HOT GUYS... with really good muscles :)
• I met a guy who's favorite city in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD was Seattle... JUST LIKE ME. (And I thought I was the only one! I'm not alone!)
• I made some REALLY good friends in my company. They might be reading this... they might not... But they're beast too.
• We had a pizza night... which was fun.
• We got to sleep in BEDS, use SHOWERS, HAIRDRYERS, and such... which usually isn't the case with Church Camps.
• My testimony was strengthened in just about every way... and THAT is probably the MOST important (and MEGA BEAST) thing of all.

Pros about Girls Camp

• I was with all my friends! They were all really nice to me and... yeah.
• We got to play in the river at Cascade Park... which was fun, except for the fact that I got pulled down stream a bit... and some other girls had to rescue me
• I got to introduce everyone to Isaac Wright, my blog and all that fun stuff.
• I learned that people are more accepting of vampire-lovers, such as myself than I originally thought.
• LOTS OF GIRLS HATED THE SUN WITH ME. I am not alone. :)
• I got cool gifts from my Secret Sister (thanks Zoe!)
• Testimony Meeting was inspiring, and spiritual like EFY. The felling was slightly different... but it was a good feeling all the same.

Okay... now for the part that's going to make me look like an ungrateful sap. The Cons of EFY and Girls Camp.

Cons about EFY

• I couldn't touch my laptop, iPod, piano, check my email and post on this blog.
• I missed my family (not too much, but I still did).
• There were Cheerleaders sharing the campus with us... and all of them were immodest 24/7. Most of them were also quite fond of waggling certain parts of their bodies which shall not be named, trying to flirt with the Mormon boys, who didn't even want to look at them, hence their lack of clothing, being REALLY snobby and prissy (they were living the stereotype of cheerleaders... it was embarrassing) and cutting us in the lunch line.
• Once there was a whole BLOCKADE of about 300 cheerleaders in front of Cosette's dorm and we had to walk RIGHT THROUGH them to get to her room. It was amazing, but it was also REALLY DISTURBING 'cause you could tell as you walked through them that they were thinking "Why is she wearing so much clothing? It's like... Arizona out here... like totally!" and that was really creepy. (Cheerleaders, besides Rebbecca Thomas.. she's beast, are, like, my WORST NIGHTMARE. Forget vampires, werewolves, zombies, and all that "scary" stuff. Those guys are my friends. Cheerleaders are WAY Scarier.)
• I didn't get much time to read my book (I did finish it... but I had to use every spare moment to do so) and do other things like write in The Broken Book... and other authorly stuff. There was minimal free time at EFY. It was go, go, go all week. (Part of the reason I didn't get to read my book though was because it had a picture on it that I assumed would disturb about half of the people in the lunch room with us... so I tried to keep it secret from them. It's really NOT a bad book... it's actually really good... and the picture isn't really bad either... but here's what the cover looked like.
  
  Do you see now why they (my worst nightmare) wouldn't approve? There's a DEAD CHEERLEADER on it! It makes me look like a murderer!

Cons about Girls Camp

• It was HOT. Like REAL ARIZONA HOT. On Thursday it was 85 degrees!
• I got REALLY BAD sunburns on my cheeks and on the back of my ears... they still hurt really bad.
• I got really bad sun rashes on my face and arms just like last year. (seriously, I'm ALLERGIC to the sun. I get hives when it's rays touch my skin. It's INSANE!)
• Mosquitoes mistook me for the Puget Sound Blood Bank... luckily I packed my Benadryl... but it's still totally lame.
• Spiders, earwigs and a vast assortment of flies were everywhere.
• Our tents were freezing cold at night and boiling hot during the day. (Come on! We live in a TEMPERATE ZONE! Why can't the weather at least act like that's the case?)
• I got dehydrated and felt miserable most of the week. :(
• Again, I couldn't touch my iPod, my laptop, or blog, check my email and start a Facebook account (which I plan to do 'cause all my EFY friends have one) and that was lame.
• The food wasn't as good as EFY food. It was still good... but I started to miss regular home food.
• I missed my family a LOT.
• The zipline is really dangerous now, thanks to the park's attempts to make it safer. (Seriously, to ride it safely, you had to wear skateboard gear! The zipline, like, smacked you right into the tree!)
• My friend Cosette got burned REALLY BAD. Worse than me. And like EVERYWHERE. It's Horrible.
• There was more free-time here, and that was nice, 'cause Cosette got to draw everyone a boyfriend (mine looks amazing like Isaac Wright... which makes me wonder...) but I really didn't get to read anything. Oh well that's alright. :)
• We didn't sing enough camp songs/play silly games like kick the can and Big booty. We need to do more of that kind stuff. Ooh and we need to do more stuff like we did my first year, like go to water parks, go river-rafting, etc. That was fun. :)

Overall both Girls Camp and EFY were beast and I have no regrets about going to both of them. However, I'm so glad to be home!

Weirdest Words of the Week: Freakadelic & Beast

The World (as I know it): It's that time of the week again, the dreaded time when that insane Caitlin must broadcast her vile not-in-the-dictionary words on the Internet for the sole purpose of corrupting poor little children's minds and bringing mass destruction to the world. That time has come again, the time when she will laugh mercilessly at those who buy into her madness, who indulge in her ill-purposed creativity and whose souls are lost in her vile corruption of the English language. Oh have mercy on us, whatever can we do to stop you?

Me: Uh... not much... you could buy me a milkshake! But I wouldn't stop... I'd just post about "vile" words anyway. I love those words... they're just kickawesome.

The World: UGH! She used one of her vile words in her SPEECH! Burn the witch! Burn the witch! Burn the...

Me: Okay, okay... if you don't appreciate my KICKAWESOME words (the world cringes at the very mention of that word, I love it) then you don't have to read this post, okay.

The World: But the children! Those poor souls...

Me: They don't have to read it either... have you ever heard of FREE AGENCY?

The World: No.

Me: (sigh) They can choose NOT to do things you know, like they don't HAVE to believe in Global Warming, or Abortion, or whatever else. They can have opinions and stuff. They could think I'm totally loony and that I should be locked away in an asylum! (I almost agree with that myself). There's no one making them think anything. They choose for THEMSELVES. (Unless they're kids, then you can just block that website and say "don't read that girl's blog, she's lost it".) But that's not my point. No one's making you read my blog.

The World: You DON'T believe in Global Warming?

Me:Yeah... so... I believe that we need to save the planet, keep it clean and stuff, but all these raised temperatures are due to increased solar activity, NOT CO2 emission. Seriously, look at the facts.

The World: NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU ARE A DISGRACE! YOU CAN'T SAY THAT! WE WILL FIND YOU, WE WILL...

Me: Sorry 'bout that. The World (as I know it) doesn't really seem to like the prospect that I'm going to blog another weird word of the week. They don't like anything I do... Urgle, life is tough.

So... because The World decided to protest, I will not only post about ONE "vile, unapproved-by the-dictionary" word, but I will post about TWO.

What are these words? And why am I doing this? (I know two weird words in one week is just too much).

The words are (if you didn't read the title of this blog, which would be kinda stupid because it's in huge, blood-red letters at the top of this post) Freakadelic and Beast.

As to why I'm doing this? It's fun... and honestly... its the only kind of journaling I can upkeep and General Authorities say I should keep a journal so...

...I continue to blog.

What exactly do "freakadelic" and "beast" mean?

That's actually fairly simple. Freakadelic comes from the word "psychedelic" (which, believe it or not, is actually a real word which basically means "brightly colored", "hippy-like" and usually seizure-inducing) and means that the object being described as "freakadelic" is so freaky that it could induce seizures if you thought about it too hard.

It's a funny word... especially since it brings up the images of people playing DDR and being blinded by it's flashing lights (that's no fun, but somehow it's hilarious to think about)... and I like to use it a lot. If you don't like it, don't hang around me until summer break sets in. I'm sure a new word will have replaced it by then.

On the other hand, there's "beast", which (oddly enough) is actually a dictionary-approved word. Of course, I define "beast" a little differently than most people (something that's "beast" in my mind is actually really awesome, strong, deckish and cool, rather than hairy, snarly and hunched over, like, say, Tarzan) but it's still worthy of the Weirdest Word of the Week awards (along with "freakadelic" of course) because the word "beast" is just "beast".

Why did I spend like, 75% of my blog narrating my IM (Instant Message, for those illiterate in the texting language) battle between me and The World?

I honestly don't know. That's part of why they don't like me.

Strange Phenomena

As those of you who have to endure the pain and suffering of living with me already know, I have an odd knack for predicting things. I'm not sure when it started, but the first time I noticed it was when I looked at I picture I'd drawn in second grade where dinosaur people were listening to "Music Sticks" and realized that my idea of putting music on a "stick" (or small object that was portable) and plug in headphones into it had been stolen and turned into the famous iPod.

At first I thought it was just a coincidence. One of those "great minds think alike" moments.

But I quickly learned differently.

A few years ago I was looking at the direction that high fashion was going in and I realized that I kinda looked like High fashion before white and black checkerboard first came out, so I thought that it would be funny if people started wearing checkerboard. I didn't really think it would happen, kinda like the "Music Sticks" thing, but guess what?

EVERYONE is into checkerboard clothes. Just look at this:

They have checkerboard pants (I want some of these).

Checkerboard Jackets. (I'm not so into this one, but I think they're cool.)

And checkerboard shoes? Wow. This is odd.
Oh but it doesn't end there.... Not only are checkerboard clothes exist ant, they're like a HUGE fad. I predicted a HUGE fad! This is just INSANE!

I do this all the time. I could get really rich (or at least really popular) predicting trends in fashion, but it's usually not until later that I notice what I'm doing.

I do this with other stuff to. I'll come up with a name for one of my characters and THE NEXT DAY his name (first and last and sometimes middle too) will appear on TV. It's totally weird.

But what's really rigged, (and I did NOT intend to make it so) is that if you take Isaac's name, spell it "Issac" (like I used to do before I learned that was the wrong way to spell it) and take Cassie's name and spell it "Cassi" when you spell them backwards, like so: issaC (Cassi backwards) and cassI (Issac backwards) they equal each other. And in the books, that is what Isaac is basically trying to tell Cassie (he's trying to say that he's nothing without her... and, because of this odd phenomena, if we were to remove the letters that created her name from the alphabet, he would be right. He would be nothing!)

Have I had any other odd premonitions? Fashion wise or otherwise? Do I know if the economy will recover or whether all is lost? Can I tell you who you should marry.

No. These things work in mysterious ways... and honestly, I can't trust them until they come to pass. It's just how it works.

I can state my opinion. I think the economy will recover, and that fashion is heading down the innovative striping direction (ya know, like plaid, pin-stripes, gingham stripes, all mixed together into some kind of super striping pattern). If you want an awesome hair style, DON"T cut your hair too short, you're going to need it for what's coming up next. In regards to technology, watch out for magnetic levitation stuff like mag-lev trains, magnetic-hovercars and such. I can't guarantee anything... but I hope that my predictions are at least somewhat close.

They have been freakishly so in the past.

Firsts, Holidays and that Wretched Yellow Fireball in the Sky

Guess what? It's June! That means school is almost out! YEAH!

Wait... you LIKE school? Oh... you don't go to MY school... okay.

Yeah, my school (I'm sure everyone already knows which one it is, ya know, the one that looks like/is a prison camp) is lame...

Anyway, while I was celebrating that school was almost out, I realized something funny about the First of June. Unlike April First, May First, September First and January First, June First isn't something you notice/celebrate/mourn (unless you're me). June First is just June First. I mean April First is April Fools day, May First is May day (even though no one celebrates it except me anymore) September First (at least in Harry Potter) is when school starts and January First is New Year's day. They're all Holidays/significant events.

So why isn't there a holiday/major event on June First?

My answer: 'Cause June is lame.

Why is June lame?

My answer: 'Cause it's too sunny.

Why is that bad?

Well lets just say that some of the characters in ANGEL (Isaac Wright, Timothy Black, Elena Creighton, etc.) don't like sunlight, and I have discovered, now that it's June and the sun is up like, ALL THE TIME, I don't like it either.

Why? You think I'm a freak for disliking the sun and that I should go lie out in it until I'm forced to like it because it's NOT HUMAN not to absolutely adore the sun and it's blinding, cancer-causing light?

This is Washington. The sun is almost NEVER there. I was born here. I got used to the sun NEVER BEING THERE, and frankly, there are times when I wish it would stay that way. The sun (since I never ever see it and my body has built up, like zero-immunity to it) gives me head aches, makes me feel sick inside and burns away my soul. If there was anything that did that to you, you'd think it was lame too.

And above all, you'd never call weather that caused such afflictions "lovely" like all those California immigrants insist it is. Sunny, June weather (for me, the girl who hardly ever leaves her house and especially not when it's sunny and is probably going to die from lack of vitamin D someday) is just a pain.

These two pictures demonstrate my sentiment towards June exactly. I need T-shirts with these printed on it, seriously. Then I'd been the coolest kid in school. But I'd also be the deadest kid in school. Those California immigrants REALLY want you to love the sun... it's like a new political campaign or something.

And that's why I think June First has not been commemorated. It's too lame to notice/celebrate and most people (except me and my characters) don't mourn it. What's your theory?

Freakish Look-Alikes

As you may already know, I am a fairly big fan of twilight, (I wouldn't consider myself the biggest fan because I actually like a few other vampire stories better {my own... but of course, I'm hopelessly biased} but I still love twilight) and thus the characters must have found their way into my subconsciousness because in one of my recent random draw-whatever-you-see-sessions (these sessions are dangerous, last time I had one of those, I got the girl/guy in my Gender Check post) I drew several pictures that looked remarkably like twilight characters.


This one was somewhat intentional (hence the label I drew above his head) and I added the elf-ears on purpose, but the next two were totally unintentional.

Jasper? (Seriously, the hat makes him look like Jasper. I need a hat like that. Jasper is like my favorite twilight character. What do you mean Edward is better? He is NOT! Have you seen Robert Pattinson? Wait... you say the REAL Edward, the one you saw in your head when you first read the book is better than the "REAL" Jasper? Well I haven't seen either of these two, so BAH! Jasper rules).

Carlise? (At least that's who Jacob thinks he looks like, I actually think he looks more like Jack the Ripper) {Don't ask me how I know what he looks like.}

And no, I didn't draw one of Bella. I wonder why....

Maybe it's because she'd turn out looking like THIS?!

Or THIS!

(I know... You're asking "Since when did Bella have Black Hair, wear nice dresses and... BECOME A NUN?" Something is terribly wrong here.)

OR (dare I say it) THIS?!!!!!!!

(Nah... she looks more like Renee did in the movie than Bella. Lets see...)

Ah-ha! Here she is!

Wait... that's Nola Blackwell from Nashville Tennessee, a huge twilight fan who just WISHES she could be Bella, 'cause Edward deserves something WAY better than her... if you know what I mean... }:)

See? None of my pictures look like Bella. Not even the ones that drew with the intention of looking like her. But you see, maybe that's just because Bella is lame. This is what the person who deserves a super hot, mega strong and impossibly fast dude (aka someone like ISAAC WRIGHT {Edward's too lame and Jasper's taken}) looks like.

Who does she look like? He, he, he, he, he...

Weirdest Word of the Week: Fauxkay

I know, I know, you're writhing in pain in your computer chair as your reading this and screaming "NOOOOOO NOT ANOTHER WEIRD WORD OF THE WEEK!" but I just can't help myself. The Committee of Official Weirdness has declared me "Officially Weird" and, surprisingly, that is a title that I live up to. Here's how I live up to that title, just in case you want to be "Officially Weird" too.

• I write stories about vampires instead of stories about cute little puppies, butterflies and sunshine like every other sweet little teenage girl should.
• I'm honestly shocked when people tell me that the characters in my story aren't real (they write songs that I want on my iPod, okay, sometimes I get confused).
• I make up weird words that aren't in the dictionary (I mean who does that?).
• I draw pictures of mythological creatures in my journals instead of writing about my life.
• I wake up at 4 'o clock in the morning to type my story and willing donate 2 hours of my sleep-time every day to the world of ANGEL (that's the story Isaac Wright is in).
• I don't drink coffee. (That one REALLY shocks some people. They think it ISN'T HUMAN not to drink coffee. Well, according to the people at my school, I am kinda pale... but that's not my point.)

So, against all logic, all reason, and all of your merciful cries that you can't stand my insanity any longer, I have decreed that the word "Fauxkay" is the Weirdest Word of the Week.

Why? And what on earth does that vile word (it's only vile 'cause it ain't in the dictionary) even mean?

Well, as many of you (the ones who defy all logic and reason and can somehow stand hanging around me) already know, I like to take existing words and mess them up. One example of this is in the phrase "mot nee" which translates into "not me". I just swapped the first letters of each word. Another example is in my usage of the prefix "kick" and the sufix "tickle". You see, I like to add the word "kick" at the beginning of a lot of words because it gives them more... um... kick, I guess... and I like to add a "tickle" on the end because it's fun. Words like kickawsome (awesome with a kick), smartickle (smart with a tickle), kicklame (lame with a kick), kickzactly (exactly with a kick) and KiPod {pronounced KYE-pod} (kickiPod really doesn't work, 'cause I don't want anyone to do that to my iPod, so I shortened the "kick" part, but it still means, iPod with a kick) were created in this way.

So it really isn't a surprise that I made up a new word and I've decreed that it is the Weirdest Word of the Week. I do it all the time. It's part of my awesome "Official Weirdness".

Oh, right... you want to know what fauxkay (pronounced foe-KAY) means.

Well, basically, it's just a cooler way to say "Okay". I just thought it would be cool to change the first letter to an "F" and have it sound like foe-kay, but I didn't want to have that spelling, because I'd already taken the word "so" and turned it into the word "foe". Plus, the spelling "fauxkay" looks kinda French (French is the bomb, seriously) and "faux" means "fake" so when you say it it's like saying "I'm not kickzactly sure what you're saying is true, but okay" because with the "faux" part you're implying that what they said was "fake".

Of course, most people can't tell how you're spelling words when you say them (I really wish they could, I make good word jokes) so it's not very useful that way in speech... but whatever. Fauxkay is the Weirdest Word of the Week, and that is that. Any Questions? Comments?

Grim Poetry

Okay, my Language Arts teacher (who is, despite the fact that he give me nefarious projects sometimes, totally awesome) had arranged for our class to have a Cafe Day (a day where we eat doughnuts, cookies and drink hot chocolate while talking about the books we read that month) with the 7th graders since it may be his last year teaching at our school. I look forward to being there, eating all the doughnuts and baffling all the kids in my class once again at my inability to handle that much sugar (I totally loose my mind when I'm fed sugar, so be wise, my friends and don't do it), but there's a catch. To be allowed to eat the doughnuts, you have to do a project.

In the past we've done posters, CDs, skits, dress-up days, more posters, models, dioramas, even more posters and other fun projects that are basically like jazzed-up book reports, but this time, our teacher wants us to NOT DO A POSTER (Aw man! I've gotten so good at those!) and write a poem.

So that's what I did. But you see, the book I read this month was called THE KILLING OF WORLDS by: Scott Westerfeld and it's about this empire consisting of eighty worlds whose Emperor has supposedly created a piece of technology that can bring the dead back to life and grant them immortality. It's a really good book... but (spoiler warning) in the end it basically says that nothing can stop death and that, although we can postpone it, death is inevitable.

Kinda grim, right?

But I wrote a poem about it anyway, so I thought I might as well share it with you.

Enjoy:

DEATH
By: Caitlin Lawrence

From the very beginning man had a quest,
To stop the forces putting the dead to rest,
To confiscate death’s ruling power
So man would live at the very last hour.

But time went on and countless souls were lost,
People wept at bodies buried in frost,
Mourning the passing of what mattered most
And hoping one day, to death they could boast…

Of their sweet triumph over death’s strong hold,
That it was worth stopping the lives being sold,
And no law of nature could keep them enslaved,
That all men of earth could at last be saved.

But when man invented that splendorous device,
One that brought the dead back enough to suffice,
And the people believed that death had died
And not a soul realized that the man had lied…

A great war broke out to find what was true,
Making whole planets bruised black and blue,
Killing more men than death had taken,
Proving to man that death hadn’t been shaken.

“The dead are dying” the people cried,
“Kill the Emperor, for his foolish pride,
For thinking that he could stop such a thing,
And telling us that life would never be fleeting,”

We scream “Save us, someone, for our lives are lost,
Our fruitless quest came with a merciless cost
And now we know, better than anyone living
That life isn’t life unless it’s worth giving.”

“And no one, no matter how smart or high-minded,
Can make a device that can trump what’s been binded…
To us and our kind, our people, our wife…
Death is a natural part of life.”

My Writing Career

Okay, this is probably going to sound kickstreamly (extremely with a kick) weird but exactly one year ago today, while I was sitting in one of my incredibly boring classes at Totem Middle School, I received the idea for ANGEL. I wasn't sure what had given me the idea (besides MOONLIGHT of course) but throughout the day I kept on thinking about two people: a vampire dude with black hair who was being super awesome in my head and a blond human chick who wasn't being quite as awesome and was kinda scared of the vampire dude. As the day progressed I gave them names (I couldn't just call them vampire dude and human chick forever, I mean, what kinda books have characters named that?) and I wrote them down in my planner in the comments section for that day.

(No I do not have a picture of those names, so just forget about it.)

And so this post is mostly just to celebrate that this story has lasted so long. Most of my story ideas only stick around in my head for a few days and if I'm lucky, maybe a week before I recycle them and they become something else (recycling saves the planet you know). Before ANGEL, the longest running story I had was a series called TRIANGLE which lasted for four months. I mean, compared to ANGEL, that's just pathetic.

What's TRIANGLE?

Don't worry, all will be reveled eventually. First you must see the timeline.

Here is my writing career:

Age 0: I was born, I cried; the best idea I had was that momma should feed me.

Age 1-3: Made art out of food, smeared it everywhere

Age 4-9: Played with barbies, drew one page stories, played tons of make believe.

Age 10 - 11: The dark ages of my life - I spazzed like a hyped-up dementor. I also wrote STAR WARS comics, other rip-off comics and played out stories with Polly Pockets.

Age 12, August - October : Started writing Austin Keeper. Planned to write nine books. Only wrote eight and a half.

Age 12, October - December: Watched MOONLIGHT and wrote "Teeth" comics, Fantasy series, Academy series, came up with various other vampire-related story ideas.

Age 13, January - March: Wrote CHORA series and Untouchables series,. Untouchables was the first story I ever started typing. Totem did one good thing and gave me a typing class!

Age 13, April: Went back to "Teeth" comics for a while, toyed with random story ideas.

Age 13, May: Got idea for ANGEL, have been working on it (along with various other ideas that have come and gone) ever since.

NOW: Still working on ANGEL. (No it is not finished,. Be patient, okay? This is the first book I've ever written.)

Now, what are all these stories I mentioned about?

Here's another horrendous list of most of the stories I planned to publish (If I listed them all, this blog would go to China). Enjoy:

• Triangle - a story about a girl who was prophesied to have magical powers by an ancient man named Cralodi who discovered many of the secrets of life and obtained great power. His symbol was a Triangle with two halves of a triangle on either side, and it appeared on the backs of the necks of those who possessed its power. The power was hereditary though, so if your father head it, but your mother didn't, you would only have half of the symbol. It got kinda weird... but it was a good story.
• Austin Keeper - a huge rip off of Harry Potter in which I got the spelling of "of" and "off" confused with each other.
• Fantasy - a story about a girl who falls from the sky and finds herself in another world where fantasy-creatures exist. Better than AK, but still so-so.
• Teeth Comics - comics about an agent working for the CIA who is a vampire and is fighting to stop the evil terrorist Alano, who has enormous white hair that is longer than he is himself. The comic characters are all stick-figures, but it was awesome anyway, and sometimes, when I'm bored, I still draw then main character, Davalin Castlore.
• Academy series - one and a half books about a school for vampires, werewolves, witches and so forth. It was really weird, because the entire school staff was working against the government and the government wanted to kill everyone attending the school... but it was a lot better writing than anything I'd written before it.
• CHORA - a series that takes place on another planet where there are vampires. The main character Phearo, is a vampire, he has red eyes, which he has to wear sunglasses all the time to hide. He likes Lorune, a human he works with who doesn't know about him or the blood farm his pantry elevator has direct access to, but she likes Edis, a lame human (sounds kinda like Isaac's situation with Cassie... I wonder why...)
• Untouchables series - a series revolving around a girl named Ellista who lives in the future and works for an intelligence organization (like the CIA) who turns her into a vampire to magnify her skills and make her a better agent. Had good potential, better writing than ever and got 77 pages typed out in size twelve font, but it wasn't the right thing to do. I don't know how I knew that, but I did.
• Rythmics - a story about a civilization with DANCE POWER (whatever that is).
• Wired - a story about android spies... it didn't get much farther than that... I really didn't write it out.
• ANGEL - a story about Isaac Wright, the most deckish dude ever, and his troubles... it is still in progress, so I can't tell you too much because you might steal my ideas.
• ERASED - Another work in progress, about the after effects of a worldwide broadcast of an "Eraser" signal that destroyed almost all human life. The few survivors lived in facilities that gave them mind powers, such as levitation, mind reading, etc. and try to figure out what happened to all the people who are gone. It's quite intriguing actually, and scary to write at night.
• Victor the Undead - A story about a man who was stabbed several times by a jealous college professor after he discovered the existence of supernatural beings (ghosts) and found that he was now undead, unable to feel pain, and basically a zombie whose job was to find ghosts and send them to their final resting place.
• Vernon stories - There seems to be an endless number of these. Vernon is a reoccurring character who looks a ton like Isaac Wright and has appeared in my stories in the form of a merman, a werewolf, and a few other mythological, human-ish creatures. He just won't leave me alone, and it annoys me.
• Hunter - a story about a advanced targeting program created in the future that grew so intelligent that a secret organization decided to transplant his consciousness into a human body and turn him into an assassin. The targeting program, who has named himself Hunter Cross, works for them willingly, satisfied with his human existence until he realizes that they may not have the noble intentions that they say they do.

Of course, there's more than that... and there are even more stories that I have never thought of publishing that have ran through my head, but if you need to know about them all will be explained.

At least I hope it will be. If it isn't... The Committee of Official Weirdness (COW), will declare this blog, officially weird. (I'm already officially weird, but my blog isn't... yet)

So, ANGEL? Happy Birthday! You're one year old!

Weirdest Word of the Week: Urgle

Now I bet you're thinking Urgle? What kind of word is that?

I know, all will be explained, but first I must say that this word has no relation to the word Urgal which happens to be a rather disturbing creature in the book Eragon.

(<-- These are Urgals. Aren't they just totally nasty?)

(This is the book Eragon. It's not so nasty.)

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Now that you understand that, (or at least I hope you do, some of you may not.. I'm a little weird) I'll tell you why my word "Urgle" won the Weird Word of the Week (WWW) award.

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Reason number one: I have no idea what it means. I mean, I sorta have an idea 'cause I usually say it when I'm happy, sad, angry/feeling some strong emotion, but I can't give you any definitive synonyms.

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Reason number two: everyone seems to think I'm talking about the ugly guys with the odd black face makeup -- which makes me laugh, for some odd reason (and they don't seem to think that "I'm insane" is a good enough explanation).

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Reason number three: It's so much funner to say than most of my other words (except deckish, of course. I LOVE saying deckish) and it rhymes with "gurgle".

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What other words have gotten this award?

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Well, there's shwinggo (pronounced Sh-WING-go) which means "awesome", kickzactly (pronounced kick-ZACK-tuh-lee) which means "exactly, with a kick", Fuh-Zah, which is basically just an exclamation of awesomeness (like when I'm feeling awesome I just randomly say "Fuh-Zah" 'cause it's cool) and there's brilliance (which actually is a real word, but I use it sarcastically like most people use the word "great" so it's WAY better).

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When did shwinggo, kickzactly, Fuh-Zah and brilliance receive this award?

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Don't ask me. The Committee of Official Weirdness (COW) decides this, not me.

Gender Check

Okay, I know this is going to sound really weird, especially after ranting on about Isaac Wright, but I was drawing in my amazing pink journal like I always do, drawing pictures of Isaac Wright and oddly enough, a few other people too, and somehow, being undecided as to whether I wanted to draw a boy or a girl I drew two pictures of the same picture...

This...


And this...
And, though I can hardly believe it, I cant' decide whether or not this dude/dudett is a man or a woman!

I tried drawing a few other pictures of him/her so I could figure it out, but they didn't seem to help...

So, dare I do it, I am going to ask you what you think. What is this thing? Man or Woman?

I'm totally lost.

Who is this Isaac Wright Person?

As you may have noticed in my last post I mentioned a person named Isaac Wright. If this name sounds familiar, you probably have been spending too much time with me because I mention his name WAY too many times in my regular conversation. (I mention his name so much I have to come up with code names for him so I don't drive the people who hang around me insane enough to be locked in an asylum) But whether you've heard his name enough times to go insane or not you're probably still curious as to who this guy really is and why in the world I mention him so many times.

Unfortunately, that is a very long story.

You see, there have been stories in my head for as long as I can remember, stories about the green, blue and grey stick figures that were constantly at war with each other, stories about people with force-like powers and so on, but I didn't start trying to write any of them into novels ('cause I didn't know how to yet) until the day before seventh grade when I started writing a story I called Austin Keeper. It was a story that had been bobbing around in my head and had managed to get out onto paper in the form of many drawings for about a month but on that Labor Day night I got an inspiration that it was time to write it out and so I did.

(Just so you know, Austin Keeper is a HUGE rip-off of Harry Potter. The titles even have the same number of syllables! The plot was okay... but it was so similar to Harry Potter you couldn't read it back over without busting up laughing at how the same it was!)

While I was in the middle of writing Austin Keeper book #9 {I wrote a book per week and they averaged about 100 pages each so I'd only been writing the series for about two months} which was the book I was planning to end the series with mom told me to come and watch this show with her. She said it was "pretty interesting" so I decided I might as well.

This TV show changed my life. It was called MOONLIGHT and it is the most deckish show EVER! Some may not agree because there are a few parts in some of the episodes that you have to skip and 'cause there's VAMPIRES in it, but it's not like those other shows that you can't even watch 'cause the whole plot is just evil. I think it's a great show.

I know, all girls are supposed to watch shows about purty wittle butterflies and happy people dancing through fields of flowers and absolutely nothing that takes place at night, involves action and has a decent, engaging plot, but I just don't listen to that kinda stuff.) But I LOVED this show and it convinced me to drop Austin Keeper and start writing something with (dare I say it) VAMPIRES in it. (I know, I'm just totally evil.)

Now what does all this have to do with Isaac Wright?

You guessed it, Isaac Wright is one of those vampires in my stories.

Now he wasn't in the first story I tried to write after watching MOONLIGHT, that was called Fantasy and was really weird 'cause it had Seripmavs (backwards vampires) and all sorts of other stuff in it, but he is the main character of the story I am currently working on called ANGEL(don't ask why it's called that, it just IS)that was ultimately inspired by MOONLIGHT and he has literally taken over my life.

Why?

Because he's just SUPER-DUPER DECKISH! The only real reason I made up the word deckish was so that I could describe him! I mean it just fits him. He totally decks people, like, ALL THE TIME.

Now I bet you're dying to ask "What else does he do, besides deck people? Where does he live?" and "How can I avoid him because he sounds kinda creepy due to the fact that he's taken over a perfectly nice teenager's life?"

This is what you need to know:

• Isaac Wright was born to a human couple (Molly and Edward Wright) living in rural Washington on January 17th 1929.
• He was born as a human, not as a vampire.
• He was born at the start of the Great Depression so his parents decided not to give him any brothers or sisters due to low income issues.
• His father fought in World War II and was killed in battle when Isaac was ten.
• His mother was a terrible cook, so Isaac took of cooking and later started his own restaurant in Seattle (which wasn't a very large town back then) appropriately named Isaac's.
• On his twenty-seventh birthday, which he had been celebrating in his restaurant, he was transformed into a vampire by Elena Creighton (You'll learn more about her later).
• After she transferred him, she left without telling him what he was or how to control himself. Isaac, not knowing nor understanding what he was accidentally killed a few people. Oops! :(
• After two weeks of being confused, angry and somewhat suicidal, Maria, a nice, civilized, vampire who worked at the local hospital (she's kinda like a girl-version of Carlise, if you've read Twilight) found him, taught him how to control himself and offered to let him buy blood from a friend who worked at Puget Sound Blood Center.
• He accepted, was taught all that Maria knew and eventually was able to get a job and move into an apartment (he'd been living on the streets)
• Though he has had many jobs in the past, when we come into the story he works for a special-ops organization appropriately named Special Division (SD for short) composed of people who aren't exactly human (they're not vampires either, though, and have no idea that Isaac is one).
• This Division takes on the bizzare criminal cases and deals with the supernatural crimes that happen locally (as well as not quite so local cases) that the other crimminal investigative orginizations--the police, the FBI and the CIA--don't want to take on, or shouldn't take on, because doing so would lead to the exposure of vampirekind.
• This job basically consists of catches terrorists (vampire and human alike), stealing objects of international importance, investigating bizarre cases and using his super skills. (Don't worry, everyone in that organization is a little weird because it was organized for the people who were "mostly human", but were considered "too dangerous" to be in regular organizations like the CIA, so they don't ask Isaac why he can run faster than people should be able to, because they don't want him to ask why they can do the things they do.
• He does have to be careful that the other agents don't see his wings, or his teeth though. He's supposed to be "mostly human" not "something else entirely".
• He doesn't feel right biting people is right (I'm totally with him on that, but then again, I'm human so I'm not sure I can have an opinon) so he buys blood from Maria's human friend Tyler, who works at Puget Sound Blood Center and stores it in his freezer until he needs it, at which point he microwaves it to body tempurature and drinks it.
• He owns a midnight-blue Mustang, the latest model.
• Tons of girls he's seen only once become suddenly in love with him for no apparent reason. That seems to happen to a lot of vampires, so it's not totally abnormal, but it happens to Isaac so often that sometimes he's afraid to go to public places because he doesn't want to break any one's heart.
• Practically every vampire in the world knows his name (he basically destroyed Elena's reputation, and everyone hated her, so they all love him now) and there is a camera that follows him around and video tapes his entire life so you can watch it on this website called The Isaacam.
• He hates mosquitoes. (They like to steal his "food") but he hates the smell of all the mosquito repellents (they repel him too), so he can't get rid of them.
• He eventually falls in love with another one of my characters that he's been assigned to protect from a vampire who wants her blood, named Cassie Wilson, but after learning that he's a vampire, his presence puts her on edge and the two drift apart.
• Cassie also has a ugly/jerk/loser boyfriend named Michael Cook who she's been dating for one and a half years, which makes Isaac furious because he wants Cassie to be able to have a normal life and marry a human, but he believes that even he, a vampire, is better for Cassie than Michael.
• He cannot transform other people by biting them. To transform another person into a vampire he has to replace some of their blood with his, which can be done in many different ways.
• Wooden stakes don't kill him, they only paralyze him if you stab him through the heart, but then again, so does everything else you stab through his heart because it can't really beat when something is stabbed through it. However, if you stab a vampire in the heart with a wooden stake and then cut off their head, then they die, because while they're staked, they can't heal.
• The sunlight does NOT cause him to burst into flames, however, since his body doesn't allow him to get sunburns, the ultra-violet rays burn his blood instead and that can be bad, because his body cannot replace it on their own (that's why he has to eat it).
• He cannot transform into a bat, but he does have bat-like wings he stores where his lower intestines and kidneys should be (his whole system is totally rewired so that he doesn't need those organs) and can pull out when needed as well as retractable vampire fangs that he can swap out with normal looking teeth.
• He is not super pale, like Edward Cullen. When he gets hungry, he is, because he doesn't have any blood in his veins, but when he's fed he looks perfectly normal. People just thought vampires were super white back in the medieval days because everyone then was super tan from working in the sun and vampires, who obviously didn't work in the sun, weren't.
• He has lived in Seattle his entire life and still lives there today. He didn't move there after becoming a vampire, but that is a common practice. Vampires like the clouds. :)

Okay I know that was a lot of information and there's a lot more where that came from, but that was the basics. If you have any more questions just ask me, but I figured that you'd all ask "What does he look like?" So I decided to answer that question for you.

Here are a few pictures of Isaac Wright:

Isaac Wright is the guy with the wings, not the lamo (pronounced LAME-oh) terrorist dude he's carrying off to be interrogated while the other agents aren't looking.


Here he is standing in the rain and looking all professional (he does that a lot and he's really good at it)

And this is him interrogating a terrorist. After the agents he works with figure out he's a vampire, of course, but it looks like it's not going so well for Isaac. This guy's not really scared of vampires.

(Oh and if you happen to be one of those people who can actually tolerate being around me, you may have seen this journal before. Um yeah, this is basically all I do in there. Draw pictures of Isaac Wright. Just in case you wondered.)

So that's just about it. :)

But then you all say "NO WAIT! I wanna see the first picture you drew of him, Caitlin! I weally do!" So I say "Fine, here it is,":

Yeah... I know. He looks like, nothing like the other pictures. I wasn't a very good drawer back then, and, believe it or not, it was incredibly hard to get the dude that was dancing around in my head (Isaac Wright) to slow down so that I could get a good look at his face. These things take time.

He's transformed over time. This is what he looked like for a long time.

Oh, and that girl he's asking the EPIC QUESTION is named Cassie Wilson . I mentioned her earlier. (I draw my male lead characters asking this question a lot. That's why it's called the EPIC QUESTION)

This is what he looks like now:

Pretty awesome huh?

Oh, and one more thing (I know, you're tired of him already, but just bear with me here). If you ever see Isaac (or anyone else for that matter) looking at you like this...

...run away. Those are thirsty eyes and they generally mean that the person whose staring at you isn't looking at that new shiny necklace you bought... but at your neck... and that's not good.

Of course, Isaac probably won't do this to you becasue ever since Maria trained him he's been REALLY GOOD about keeping himself under control, however, you can avoid finding yourself in such situations with other vampires by:

• Eating garlic (they HATE the way it smells on you).
• Wearing lots of mosquito repellent (dido).
• Wearing bright colors (most vampires find them depressing because the remind them of the sun).
• Not going out after dark unless you really have to (that's when they come out, duh).

Think you know enough about him now?

Yeah, way too much, I know but now you can quit wondering who this Isaac Wright person is now.

Deck, Deckish, Deckonate and the Origins Thereof

Hooray! I am finally starting a blog! I'm not 100% sure what I'm going to do on this blog (besides blow your mind with just how weird I am and wind up humiliating myself in the process) but since I'm such a creative person I figured that starting a blog was another field I could excel in and that it would be fun to try. Of course every rose has it's thorns and my thorns might be within the blogging realm (I honestly don't know, I could really stink at this) but I'm sure you're just dying to know what this word "deckish" means and so I will take pity on thee (because I'm just nice that way) and answer your question.

To put it simply, the word "deckish" is merely a word I use as a substitute for the word "awesome". Of course, that is not the only definition of the word, but to fully understand what this word means (beyond the simple, kindergarten definition "awesome") you have to understand it's origins.

You see, the word "deckish" is actually derived from the word "deck". Not the wooden thing connected to your house that you use for barbecues and outdoor parties, but the slang-ish word "deck" that actually means something more along the lines of "pummel" "knock over" "beat up" or "take down". And since I was tired of saying "Isaac Wright (you'll learn more about him later) can really deck people" the word "deckish" was created to describe things, or people that had the ability to "deck" things.

But of course, since people who are able to pummel people are usually really cool (I mean there are some really bad people who can pummel too, but the coolest good guys are the ones who can take like ten dudes with guns with a single spinning kick) the word "deckish" has evolved to mean "awesome" as well as equipped with a super-ability to take out bad guys.

Understand? Good.

But wait. There's more.

You see, I just can't stop talking about Isaac Wright (it drives my dad nuts) and saying that "he could totally deck, like, everything" got old too. So I, like I always do when the English Dictionary doesn't provide me with what I want, made up a new word.

Deckonate. Pronounced DEK-uh-nate

Now what does THIS word mean? Well, since the root word of "deckonate" is "deck" which means to pummel/take down/beat up stuff, and the "ate" part of the word "deckonate" is also part of the word "annihilate", the word "deckonate" means to totally destroy/take down something in a manner that is totally awesome and can be matched by no other force.

Basically "deckonating" somone simply means that you are WAY stronger/faster/cooler than them and therefore you toally whoop them.

And why do I need so many words to describe taking out people? I mean, isn't that like a VIOLENT thing? Shouldn't I be thinking about flowers and butterflies and sunshine and princessess and all sorts of other purty wittle things?

No. I got bored of stuff like that in like, second grade.

But, if you read on, you'll understand why I need these words. Because some people (namely, Isaac Wright) can only be described as one thing:

Totally Deckish.